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Grieving
Children and School
Keep the school informed
- Let school officials know about the death as soon as possible.
- Tell the school what information you would like to communicate.
- When children enter a new class each year, let the teacher know that
the child's mother, father, sibling, or other close person has died and
that the child may occasionally have a difficult time.
While your child is out of school
- Allow for contact with the school and classmates at a level that is
comfortable for your child.
- It can be helpful for your child if the class sends "thinking
of you" cards. Children need to know that they are missed when
they are absent from school.
- Encourage the teacher to tell the class why your child is absent. Let
the teacher know what details you would like passed on.
- Encourage the teacher or librarians to keep books about death and grief
in their library. This helps to normalize grief and provides resources
for the children in the school. Please see the bibliography in this packet
for ideas.
Going back to school
- Allow the child to participate in deciding when they are ready to go
back to school. It may not be when you expect.
- Remember that is may be difficult for the child to learn and remember
new information when they first return.
- Remember that your child will have hard days. Remind the teacher of
this, if needed. Suggest the teacher designate a place where the child
can go if he or she is having a hard time.
- Stomach aches and headaches are sometimes a child's way of saying, "I'm
feeling sad and I need to be taken care of." Prepare the school
nurse for this possibility.
- Let the child know where you will be when they are at school. Remember
that they will be more concerned about you than usual.
- Talk to the teacher about "Big Energy Activities" such as
sports, music, painting, play dough, etc.
- Remember that grief takes a lot out of children. They may be more tired
after school than usual.
Text provided by:
Caring Connections
A Hope and Comfort in Grief Program
University of Utah Health Sciences Center
Caring Connections is sponsored in part by
The Ben B. and Iris M. Margolis
Foundation.
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